By Renzo Acosta
Have you ever noticed just how fragile masculinity is? It’s so fragile that men need to put the prefix man- or bro- in things that are supposedly “feminine” (e.g., man-bun, man-bag, bromance, bro-hug). It’s so fragile that men are not supposed to wear pink, lace, florals, cosmetics, etc. because these represent softness, and God forbid that men should appear soft. It’s so fragile that men need to put up a macho front just to protect the fragility of masculinity.
This is not an attack on men; rather, it’s an attack on the idea of masculinity that is widely accepted by society. Masculinity is not machismo: the belief that real men are aggressive, entitled, emotionless human beings. Now, I’m not saying that I know what real masculinity is, but I do have an idea on what it is not or what it shouldn’t be.
The problem with man-
Why are people obsessed with separating what’s supposedly for men and for women? And more importantly, why can't people accept that gender is not necessarily binary? When in fact, as gender rights advocate Geena Rocero put it in her TED Talk, “gender and gender expression is fluid,” not set in stone; and the belief that gender is binary is a fault of society that must be fixed, now. Simply adding the prefix man- to everything doesn’t make it masculine; if so, masculinity is therefore not only fragile but also superficial. If something is not gender-specific, then why is there a need to differentiate what’s for men? What this trend does is perpetuate the idea that women are the Other.
In an article by Marc Bain for Quartz entitled Sex and gender aren’t perfectly binary. Why should clothes be?, he discussed how the idea of binary clothes come about; how men years ago wanted very much to distinguish themselves from women, and in doing so, added to the oppression of the latter. More than that, he discussed what it does to people: it limits and divides. Making clothes binary only works for those who are cisgender (i.e., those whose gender agree with the sex they were assigned at birth), and is very much oppressive to those who are not.
The ungentleman: Sex is always the endgame
Lady Gaga recently released a music video that tackles sexual assault in campus, and it’s because of the alarming rise in cases of campus rape, which is due to the rise of the breed of ungentlemen: men who flatter women in a gentlemanly manner but only have sex as their endgame, and are the reason why rape culture persists. Instances such as a fraternity “welcoming” freshmen girls in campus by displaying obscene banners, having tradition where seniors in a prep school seek to have sexual encounters with younger students, and football players feeling entitled to force girls into sex at parties are all doings of ungentlemen. Actions such as these are being done by men, or rather boys, to prove just how masculine, and therefore untouchable, they are; and it’s another manifestation of the dangers of having such a shallow understanding of masculinity.
In an article by Jessica Bennett for The New York Times entitled A Master’s Degree in… Masculinity?, she talked about masculinities studies. It says there that the term masculinities is used “to acknowledge that there is more than one way to be a man.” I am no expert in gender studies, but as part of a patriarchal society, I have witnessed many ways of being a man; and even so, I would say that there are still many changes that need to happen in order to correct society’s wrong notion of masculinity.
The problem with man-
Why are people obsessed with separating what’s supposedly for men and for women? And more importantly, why can't people accept that gender is not necessarily binary? When in fact, as gender rights advocate Geena Rocero put it in her TED Talk, “gender and gender expression is fluid,” not set in stone; and the belief that gender is binary is a fault of society that must be fixed, now. Simply adding the prefix man- to everything doesn’t make it masculine; if so, masculinity is therefore not only fragile but also superficial. If something is not gender-specific, then why is there a need to differentiate what’s for men? What this trend does is perpetuate the idea that women are the Other.
In an article by Marc Bain for Quartz entitled Sex and gender aren’t perfectly binary. Why should clothes be?, he discussed how the idea of binary clothes come about; how men years ago wanted very much to distinguish themselves from women, and in doing so, added to the oppression of the latter. More than that, he discussed what it does to people: it limits and divides. Making clothes binary only works for those who are cisgender (i.e., those whose gender agree with the sex they were assigned at birth), and is very much oppressive to those who are not.
The ungentleman: Sex is always the endgame
Lady Gaga recently released a music video that tackles sexual assault in campus, and it’s because of the alarming rise in cases of campus rape, which is due to the rise of the breed of ungentlemen: men who flatter women in a gentlemanly manner but only have sex as their endgame, and are the reason why rape culture persists. Instances such as a fraternity “welcoming” freshmen girls in campus by displaying obscene banners, having tradition where seniors in a prep school seek to have sexual encounters with younger students, and football players feeling entitled to force girls into sex at parties are all doings of ungentlemen. Actions such as these are being done by men, or rather boys, to prove just how masculine, and therefore untouchable, they are; and it’s another manifestation of the dangers of having such a shallow understanding of masculinity.
In an article by Jessica Bennett for The New York Times entitled A Master’s Degree in… Masculinity?, she talked about masculinities studies. It says there that the term masculinities is used “to acknowledge that there is more than one way to be a man.” I am no expert in gender studies, but as part of a patriarchal society, I have witnessed many ways of being a man; and even so, I would say that there are still many changes that need to happen in order to correct society’s wrong notion of masculinity.